


What doesn't destroy you leaves you broken instead

by SilentDarkness



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: Despiro, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, M/M, Young Lions, burning kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 17:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15199706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentDarkness/pseuds/SilentDarkness
Summary: Some connections are made without your choosing. Hiromu und Kyosuke realize that they can't get away from each other and never will, even though they both want to tear each other apart so much, it hurts.





	What doesn't destroy you leaves you broken instead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Awesome22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome22/gifts).



> After watching a video from a match young lion Hiromu had against Yano Toru, I had the urge to write something for my current most loved/hated ship. Because another well known young lion was ringside, supporting Hiro...
> 
> In case you want to watch said match, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbFEAExh0HQ

Loud screams echoed in Hiromu's head. Kyosuke banged his fists on the apron, cheering him on, like he really wanted him to win. He didn't though, and Hiromu knew it.   
It was only about defending their shared honor as young lions, nothing else. Takaaki was more quiet and reserved but no less supportive and unlike Kyosuke, he truly meant it. He was the only friend Hiromu had in the NJPW dojo, the only defensive wall between him and Kyosuke, because the older man loved to bully him at any opportunity.   
He pulled at Hiromu's seams to open more wounds and dig even deeper into his soul, and Hiromu couldn't stop Kyosuke from hurting him, physically and emotionally. He fought with teeth and claws to defend himself, but somehow the man with the deep voice, always knew where to find a loose string to pull at.   
Hiromu hated it, as much as he hated him now acting like he was supporting him, while he watched, and probably enjoyed, Hiromu being humiliated and punished by Yano Toru. It was the mask he always showed to the world, but Hiromu knew better. Kyosuke loved to play innocent and he was often so subtle when hurting Hiromu, no one would notice. Because it weren’t the stiff blows in the ring or the way he bended Hiromu’s body in ways it wasn’t intended to that hurt the most. It were the small comments he whispered into his ear, the doubts he planted in his head, where there already were hundreds, growing every day.  
Every time he told him he would never make it to be an professional wrestler for New Japan Pro Wrestling, he made Hiromu believe a little more that he was a failure.   
Hiromu couldn’t keep up with the others, not in stamina, not in the ring and he always felt like he couldn’t fit in, no matter how hard he tried. He wasn’t himself anymore or maybe he was still too much of it.   
Either way fitting in had never been something Hiromu was good at. He was someone who chased his dreams and didn’t gave a fuck on somebody else’s opinion.   
But Kyosuke changed that and he fed off on the doubts and insecurity he sowed. So Hiromu wouldn’t buy for one second that he really wanted him to win this brutal, bonebreaking match.   
  
Good thing he didn’t win, was it? At least for his sadistic fellow young lion. Yano pinned him and left him laying in his own sweat and misery. Of course Takaaki was at his side the second Yano left the ring, while getting cheered by the fans, carefully pushing a bag of ice in his neck. Suddenly there was another pair of hands, grabbing his exhausted, defeated body and tried to roll him out of the ring. Kyosuke, the only other young lion in attendance tonight. He was just doing his duty, but it felt so wrong to be touched this gently by him. Hiromu hated it when he hit him or twisted his limbs to make them sing in pain, but at least that was honest and true. Unlike this fake, caring attitude he always put up for the crowd.   
Suddenly the hands on his body left and Yano was back, yelling at Takaaki and Kyosuke, before he roughly grabbed Hiromu by his hair and the sound of an electric razor got to his ear.   
It wasn’t enough to defeat him, no Yano wanted to destroy him and make sure everybody saw it. Three brutal strikes through his hair, that felt like Yano was cutting his skin off with the hair, left him looking like an idiot for sure. He couldn’t fight back, it would be useless to do so and he wasn’t allowed anyway as a young lion, so he just collapsed and let himself be rolled out of the ring.   
He didn’t care who helped him anymore, his mind set on revenge, lusting for Yano’s blood. Even though his legs were so weak he almost fell, he would come for his head and kill the bastard some day. Something along those lines he yelled into the camera, that was waiting backstage. It didn’t matter what exactly he said, he made clear he wouldn’t give up and for a second he almost believed his own words, but the doubts were already back the next moment.

Angrily Hiromu grabbed the razor, to get rid of the hair Yano left. His hands were shaking so bad from pain, exhaustion and hatred for the man that did this to him.   
Even Kyosuke had never humiliated him in front of people like this. He tried to hold the electric razor as still as he could, but it was to no avail, his whole body shook so bad and sweat ran into his eyes.   
Suddenly someone carefully took the razor out of his hands, and gently pushed him onto a chair. Hiromu complied, had not even enough energy left to ask any questions.   
It could've been Yano, to finish what he started, and Hiromu would've let him, because he was utterly exhausted. But the hands on his naked shoulders were to gentle and soft to be Yano's.   
A towel was draped around them and another one was carefully rubbed over his face, to wipe away the mix of sweat and hair.   
Hiromu looked to the side, to show his gratefulness to whomever was kind enough to take care of him. He would've expected Takaaki, or literally anyone else but him!   
When his eyes landed on Kyosukes face, he jumped and only the strong hands on his shoulders prevented him from running away.   
"Please.", he hated to beg, but he had no strength left and just wanted to curl up in a ball in his bed and lick his wounds. "Not gonna hurt you.", Kyosuke replied softly, almost as if he really meant it. It would be the first time he wouldn't hurt Hiromu one way or another. But how fitting that he was here in a moment of defeat and humiliation.   
Soft, careful movements as the towel was dabbed at his face, and it was so eerily unlike the Kyosuke he knew. He always found a way to hurt Hiromu, didn’t matter if they were alone or not.   
"You did good out there. Almost had that bastard down.", he murmured and was that a slight smile on his lips? It had to be some sort of wacky parallel universe or something, because none of this was normal.   
Hiromu almost wished Kyosuke would laugh at him and tell him how weak he was, that he would never be a good wrestler, but he didn't. Instead he took the razor and began to carefully shave off the remnants of Hiromu's hair.  
"Don't act like you care... you’ve beaten me down dozens of times.", he sounded as tired as he felt. Whatever Kyosuke's mindgame was, he wouldn't be playing along tonight. "I did. But I hate you getting hurt by someone else than me. They don't know you like I do. I know how much you can take.", Kyosuke's fingers danced over his neck, stroking and caressing him. Hiromu had always liked being caressed and petted, maybe he was a cat after all. He just wished it would be someone else than his worst enemy, to make him feel good. It was so much worse than him treating Hiromu like shit, like he usually did.   
Hiromu just wondered when the fingers would tighten and choke him, when the knife would be stabbed in his back. Why all he facade of a sudden?

"You don't know shit about me. You care more about trash than you do about me. Whatever you're trying, just cut it.", Hiromu spat back and finally the buzzing sound of the razor stopped, but no answer from the other man.   
When hot lips suddenly touched his neck, he flinched. "Kyosuke?", his voice was tinged with confusion. He would have rather expected Minoru Suzuki to adopt a young lion, than Kyosuke kissing him.   
Another gentle, almost shy kiss found it's way onto Hiromu's slowly cooling skin, the fingers softly rubbing over his tense shoulders. "I care about you.", Kyosuke whispered and his body pressed itself against Hiromu's back, providing warmth and shielding him from getting to cold. "And I hate that I do.", he explained further, tightening his hold and it felt kinda desperate, to tight but not threatening.   
„Don’t lie to me... just... don’t...“, Hiromu asked because he couldn’t endure this. It was cruel even for Kyosuke, because this was what Hiromu actually craved and needed, just not from him.   
But he needed the soft touches, the gentle attentions, someone that cared for him and his wellbeing. That was a rare thing for him and Hiromu longed to be loved. But not by a man that did everything he could to worm his way into Hiromu’s head and destroy all happiness.   
„I’m not lying... I wish I could forget you, even for one second, but I can’t. You’re always on my mind. Haunting and torturing me.“, Kyosuke murmured in his ear, his hands slowly roaming over Hiromu’s shaking body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Maybe this was just a really bad dream after all, something his subconcious mind produced because he was in such a need to be loved and accepted. It was scary nonetheless. His worst enemy dangerously close.   
„Get off me.“, he hissed, trying to squirm away from the unwelcomed yet confusingly comforting touch. None of it made sense and he couldn’t figure out why his body was leaning into it, while his mind wanted him to get away as far as possible. His heart was beating loud and fast against his ribcage, as if it would jump right out of his chest, the next moment.   
„I can’t...“, just a whisper under Kysuke‘s breath. The worst thing is, that Hiromu can’t get away from Kyosuke either. It’s not just the exhaustion that is stopping him from leaving. He doesn’t want to think about the other reason for that though. And he wouldn’t have to anyway, wouldn’t he? Tomorrow it all would be back to normal, with Kyosuke telling him how much of an failure he was, while digging his nails into Hiromu’s skin until it burns.   
  
For now, he hadn’t the energy to fight him, as he wanted to be cared for and being held, to prevent himself from falling down the rabbithole.   
Bit by bit he relaxed at least somewhat and Kyosuke’s hold never loosened. His body warm and close, closing out the world around them, while his lips pressed gentle but longing kisses on Hiromu’s neck, shoulders and the shaved back of his head. For a moment Hiromu felt content, safe and loved. By his biggest enemy, and the man that just strenghtened the need for that in him.   
Kyosuke burned and warmed like expensive whiskey. If you drank to much, it would slowly destroy you though. But it was much stronger than any comfort Takaaki could provide.   
„I’ll never stop hurting you. Until you’re broken. Because... I love you.“, a mere whisper into his ear and a soft bite into his neck, followed by another soft kiss.   
The world stood still for a moment and Hiromu forgot to breathe, until the weight on him disappeared and took the warmth with it. Coldness washed over his skin and left nothing but a lonely, miserable feeling.   
Kyosuke was gone and it felt like this time, he truly took a part of Hiromu with him, which he doesn’t know how to get back ever again. Maybe it would be something that connects them for forever.   
Hiromu should’ve known that it would be dangerous to let him close, because now it would be impossible to get away from him.   
No matter how far they would be away from each other, the connection between them, was made to be permanent.


End file.
